Acknowledging our state



Many times when I talk to people who suffered from dictatorial abuse, after they have been familiar with the problem itself, they blame themselves for their behaviour or actions, even though these are the direct consequences of the issue. They may say things like "I was so stupid putting myself last" or "how could I believe it to those who didn't understand me" and so on.
Knowing now what would have been the best way then is already a great step forward.
We also need to accept that at a particular point in the past we did not have the knowledge and ability to behave that way.
We need to go back to our soul and understand the phase they were at the time. 
Most probably they were still tied up blindfolded in the wet cellar.
Could we question anyone in that state why they couldn't dance pirouettes?
If we blame our soul, we will be on the side of the suppressors. They made the soul unable to do it right, then accuse them for it. Pure cruelty.
What we can do instead? 
In order to heal our souls, we need to acknowledge that the pain is valid, the hurt is real. We have to allow ourselves to be imperfect. Yes, we were not able to act the best possible way, not only because we had less experience than now, but also because of the effect of the suppression and abuse we have suffered. We cannot accept one without the other. If we state that there has been suppression, we have to let go of the expectation that we should be perfect. We are not, just as any human being is not perfect, plus we need to face our vulnerability and the fact that we are hurt. It is by the way one of the tools of the suppressors that first they hurt you, then they accuse and blame you for being hurt. 
What we need is a protective atmosphere for our souls to heal. To acknowledge the negative consequences of the suppression, to believe that you have suffered, to check the extent of the damage is one of the very first steps in the healing process.
We said we need to caress our souls, and we should care for their wounds. How could we do that while expecting them to be perfect?
They are not.
We are not.
And to face it is the first step in the process of healing our souls. 

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