Eastern European Muslim

As I have mentioned it earlier in the blog, shortly after I got my diagnosis, I ended up in a very low place spiritually. A person who is of course not perfect, for whom I will always be grateful for teaching me so much and whom I respect a lot told me, most probably to make me less worried in an already difficult situation, that we can't be more merciful than God, so I shouldn't worry about the future of my children whatever would happen. It put me in a position where I felt that life goes on with or without me and there was basically no need for me to fight for my health. Allah deals with everything and everybody better than I, so I should not stand in the way.  Later I managed to gather my pieces and was able to pray for healing as a special gift or favour from God, as He is The Most Kind, The Most Merciful and He is Able to do all things. So I begged Him to save me, even though there's no need for me, and there are so many more terrible things happening to p

My three dear sisters.  You told me about men who lack the sense of real intimacy and can't look into a woman's eyes. Who can't plan life together as they consider setting up a life - even without any sort of planning - to be their own privilege. Who substitute the sense of bonding with outer control, dictated by their own random choices. And you my dears try to support. To follow. To be the only solid base during this earthquake. You stay because you trust them. Because you think about others just like you see yourself - they definitely want the best for all of us, they are honest. In your beautiful minds there's no place for concepts like selfishness, going towards the smaller opposition, using people, taking them for granted and so on. You do it for years. For decades. You set aside your expectations about an ideal life, find explanations and excuses even for the unforgivable and just put out the fire every single day. The fire that would burn your home,