Eastern European Muslim

What my passage is about - not only the words but also this chapter in my life - to free my soul. One's soul is one's real self that senses oneself, understands their role in the world and recognises the things it belongs to. Even though my parents did everything they could to raise us with love and support and care, they are themselves children who grew up in a dictatorial system. And dictatorship destroys souls because that's how it can control masses, if they are soulless zombies blindly following orders. That's how children are raised or better say trained since kindergarten in these countries. So I didn't have connections to my soul as it was closed inside a dark room. I had very close connection to places and people that reminded me of my soul. Italy, South of France, Yemen and first and foremost my sister. I think it was the moment I lost her that catapulted me into a space where I had no reference point. There was no one who knew who I was, only

The wounds hit by the dimension gate  Are deep in my stomach I'm laying down motionless Trying to perceive every single piece of my aching body And grateful soul  I'm alive Thank God I survived crossing the stargate However I have suffered serious injuries Due to the nuclear explosion during crossing through But I'm here now On the other side I'm in my new life On the path of full trust in God  And total acknowledgement of myself  I will fly like never before Just like a phoenix 

Tumors form from the unlistened feelings and emotions inside us. I have just started to discover the process of freeing my soul from the chains of the suppressive society and embrace her with all the pain she is bearing. Washing her wounds gently, taming her slowly, step by step, to learn about being loved. What is she trying to tell me?  A friend, a sister who has already walked through the path of this sickness before shared her insights with me. We both realised that cancer came at a point where, although at different circumstances, the "good girl syndrome" was not sustainable anymore.  She spoke to me about how to heal. To be determined and to choose healing. To choose life. To choose future. To choose life and everything in it. Indeed, to make choices every single day and to declare fearlessly who you are.  She also said that she heard somewhere that to forgive and not to hold grudges against anyone frees you as anger hurts and destroys you more.  I listened

It's time to rewrite history. Arrived at the end of May from a place where I was happy and strong. Getting the diagnosis that doesn't only change the plans for the following months but might as well include deadly danger. I froze from fear. It's all too similar. Except that now it's much more serious. A rollercoaster of events. The life I had built up step by step is taken away from me, one by one. My health, my plans, my trusted source of support. I'm in a whirlwind and barely have time for desperation.  It is a force much stronger than I could control. I cry, I try to hold on for a while, but it's so overwhelming that honesty I can only admire it.  If a sickness returns, the reality is that it has never healed completely.  The trauma response I gave last time was not effective to my healing.  It was the way I got sick.  I was the good little girl trying to please everyone in order to be accepted and thus gain her right to exist.  Having my health,