Ultimatum


 

People keep telling me that I should or should have given him an ultimatum. To tell him that unless he sends me a certain amount every month or rents a flat for us until a certain deadline, I will divorce him. Of course it means also that if he is able to meet the requirements, I will go back to him, living with him as his wife, trusting and loving him as if nothing had happened.

How much am I supposed to sell myself for?

How much does my trust, hope and love cost?

If he managed to get the amount until the deadline, will that erase every feeling of being neglected and used? Will that build my trust back up after all that I have gone through? Will it create love after I tried to believe in it long after the very end, and letting it go was the only way out?

If I still believe that we can have a future together, if I trust him, there are no ultimatums. I will stand by him in good and bad times. I will wait patiently no matter how long it takes.

That's what I have done so far.

I didn't give ultimatums when there was still a way back. I stood there with all I have. I gave my time and money, my attention and dedication, my trust and love. When my life turned upside down I still searched for the 700th excuse and made plans for a future together.

Then one day I couldn't do it anymore.

Trust crashed under the weight of lengthy disregard and the whole story started to make more sense without my explanations.

I said it's over when it was. Without trust love died and there was no way back.

You tell me to give an ultimatum.

I can't do it.

My love doesn't have a price.


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