Why is it happening?

When I lost my sister الله يرحمها more than 2 and a half years ago I realised that life is not a fairy tale. This life on earth will never be perfect, because she is not here. It is full of trials and tests, never ending problems when you feel like it doesn't make any sense.

After a few years of continuing troubles you just get the  sensation that this life is only a place of suffering. A grey world where the only ray of light is the time we get to spend with those we love. These are not weeks of holidays in fancy places, just a few minutes we get to talk about something deep. Otherwise it's just a series of challenges that only end with us exiting this world. I have concluded that the nature of this life is in fact suffering. 

I have already mentioned that getting closer to myself means finding my friends from long ago. I have met a wonderful sister, a beautiful woman inside and out who I haven't spoken to for many years. She told her story that brought tears in my eyes. The personal and existential lows, and as a result of her heartbreaks, the sickness that had almost taken her life. There was a point where she was fighting for her life, owning nothing but a few items that fit into a shopping bag.

But she never gave up. She went out in the cold and rain alone, only to pray. She believed she would eventually get something better in every field of her life.

And one day it happened. Step by step God restored her situation in every way. Now she is still fighting but she has everything she has ever dreamed of. 

I was crying when she told me all that. The heartbreak, the financial difficulties and the life threatening illness - all trials I'm so familiar with, that I have been trying to make sense of, to understand the point, the lesson behind it. And here she is, this lovely lady who's enthusiasm and positivity I have always admired telling me that it has an end. It will get better. Suffering is not endless and pointless, and it's not simply the nature of this life. It is a trial, but the point is not only to accept it. It is about how we react.

God is testing us whether we can still trust Him. Yes, we have experienced tragedies, but it's only one side of the coin. The sun is still shining, the flowers are still blooming, the air is still there for us to inhale... God's endless blessings still surround us even while our hearts carry heavy burdens. 

Being in this beautiful town I have always felt it's striking beauty has to be a sign. It is. I'm going to chemotherapy while the sun is shining though the trees, the sky is blue and the flowers are blooming. Because the fact that God takes something away shows that He SWT can give it back. We just need to ask Him. We just need to understand the proper outset. We ask and He grants us. We look at Him with trust and positive expectation because He is Able to give us anything.  We shouldn't lose our trust and hope in Him.

That is what our trials are about.

They are no pointless sufferance.

They show us the power of God - what He can take away, He can give us back, and even more, even better.

We just need to go out in the rain, alone, even if no one cares about us, only to say that prayer. Out of the deep conviction that He SWT will help us. He gives back our health, our wealth and our loved ones. And one day the positive sequence begins... Maybe it has already started? If we are grateful, He will give us more.

Ps. Yes. There are heartbreaks that will indeed not be resolved in this life. There are losses that remain as such and we will never fully understand the wisdom behind it. We only know it's a legacy to carry on. I wanted to say something uplifting but I can't. We miss you so much Piro. God bless you and your little darlings.