Crying souls

More and more people I come across - and myself as well to a certain degree - experience deep emotional burnout. When you feel that nothing sparks your excitement. When you don't find anything that you really want. When nothing is interesting.

More often than not, in the background of this feeling you have a profound sorrow. An unprocessed trauma, a disappointment in a person or in the course of life in general like a loss of a loved one.

This disaster impacted your life to the core and has shaken your whole world 

 You may be questioning the whole outset of your life: what's the point of it then? There's no real answer, at least not an immediate one. As a result, you retreat from life and go into a numb state, sometimes on autopilot, just to survive the day. 

You avoid big questions for fear of the void that they remain unanswered. Initially you perceive the whole world empty without the object of your loss but after the first shock you are still unable to make real connections or find activities you like for a long period of time. Why?

It's a defence mechanism. Your soul is protecting itself from pain. It is doing so by staying away from any type of attachment. Your trauma has taught your soul that it is not safe to love. That when you love, you will suffer. The object of your love will be forcefully taken from you and you remain in the cold without being hugged, without being understood, without being seen.

You couldn't bear another pain like that so you just wait the day to become night and wait the night to become day. You numb your feelings unconsciously, on a deep level, away from your reach and you just exist. It's the safest way possible for your soul, paradoxically, because safety of soul is being loved. But since it has become impossible, the soul went into numb mode to protect itself from another disaster.

What can you do if you find yourself or others in this situation?

 First of all, what not to. Don't force. Don't force yourself to show up, to look alright, don't force others to do anything "they should be doing in normal circumstances", yes, they would do everything in normal circumstances but the circumstances are far from normal, that's the whole point. Remember, it's on the soul level. Forcing doesn't work. It doesn't change the soul. It might change the surface, the actions or the minds of people but their souls remain in the same place of pain or even worse, they will feel misunderstood - and rightfully so.

What to do then? What can you do when you see wonderful people just suffer and not see the beauty of the world? That years go by and they remain where they are? Or what can you do when you find yourself wake up just to wait for the day to go? You beat yourself up for not being productive and not working for yourself but you are just unable to do it?

Remember, it's on the soul level. What souls need? Understanding. Acceptance. Unconditional love. No compulsion to see the sunlight but to sit with them in the darkness. 

As humans we should all have to have a clear understanding of how we work. We are kind of okay with the body, or at least we have access to many of its cures but when it comes to the soul, we are totally blind. The soul is you. It's the centre of connection with the world around - people, places, activities. Its language is love and intuition. The "gut feeling" is the soul's direct message to the body, without the rationalisation of the mind. The heart is the place of connection with the eternal, the perfect, the divine, the universal. The soul likes imperfections. Cracked walls and faces. Broken pottery and dreams and lives kintsugi-ed with gold. The mind is the computer but the soul is the human behind it. The soul possesses a body, a heart and a mind. Not in any other way around.

In the event of a loss it's the soul that got hurt. To solve the material issues, to accept the divine decree and to mentally understand what happened (and what you should be doing right now) are important steps but they are no substitute for the perception and understanding on the soul level. Yes, there are many people who seem to have moved on with their lives but do you know what they feel deep inside? Maybe their souls are crying inside and they don't listen. Their souls are let down twice - first, because of the original problem and second, by themselves not listening to their soul's cry. That's not a real solution any soul conscious person would want - especially since we know that the bodies of not understood souls will create symptoms and it could lead to further tragedies and eventually, more suffering.

There is no other solution. Only acceptance. That's how they are now. Accept it. That's how you are now. Accept it. Let go of the idea that people should feel alright, be alright and be happy all the time. Look around you, why should everyone be happy all the time? Life is extremely difficult, there are countless wounds people are carrying, they are hurt day by day. Death, disappointment, financial insecurity, loneliness, injustice, illness, physical pain, humiliation, lies, betrayal, etc. This is what you go through. No need to keep smiling, to make everyone believe including yourself that everything is alright. It's not.

But don't think for a moment that I'm promoting negativity. Not at all. What I'm talking about is to listen to your soul's cry. To accept it and not to silence it. To understand it. Sit down with that dear soul, whether it's your own or of someone you love, sit down with them, hold their hands if it feels comfortable and tell them they are safe with you. You accept them even in this stage. They don't have to keep smiling with you. They don't have to pretend. It's alright. The situation might not be, but their reaction is perfectly fine. Even if it lasts months or years or sometimes even decades. Souls are timeless, they are eternal. They take their time to process pain - and longer we choose not to listen, longer they take to get over their pain. Will they ever? Do they have to? 

Sometimes souls hold on their pain because that's something that connects them with their lost loved ones. Just tell them the good news: they will never get over it. A beautiful illustration I have come across showed pain as a huge circle inside another circle that represents life. Some time later the pain - circle is still the same size, but the life around gets bigger, there are other things in it too. That's what happens. Gradually. Step by step. 

Pain remains but it won't cut your fingers every time you touch it, as broken pottery.  As the cicatrisation, the wound healing of the soul begins, the painful edges become   the golden glue that keeps you together. Shining beautifully and more precious than ever.

The healing of the soul is a natural process. It's how souls are created. You just need to be aware of it, accept it and understand it. Actual steps, ways, methods I have yet to learn. But give it time and acceptance. That's how healing begins.