Community

I have been feeling quite miserable lately. I felt that the system failed me. The community failed me. I did everything that was preached and taught, yet my life went from not moving forward to being completely destroyed. I felt it's just not fair. Why are we constantly told to be patient and not warned about how to spot the things we do not and should not be patient about? Why are we advised to give 70 excuses and not told to stop at the 71st as that would be self destruction? Why is it that we are taught that the best way to ask for help is when we still believe in reconciliation and then being left alone and not given any help? Why do advisors think "solve it yourself" is an advice? And at the end when you tried your utmost and are left with no other choice, why is it that the nicest people are surprised at your decision? Why do advisors use blame, responsibility and feelings to make you doubt your own God given rights? And at the end, how can they agree with the destruction of those rights for the sake of keeping good relationships?

The system has failed me. I'm not a failure. Many times I think I should have realised things earlier and made steps but I don't think I would have been successful. Never in my life I have thought this would happen if I followed the protocol and asked for help to have my rights, then my right to get out if my other rights are not met.

This community was my home and family. It was my main circle of friends. We were raising children together, going to "holidays" together (meaning organising youth camps). We lived in and for the community. I didn't do it because I wanted something in exchange for it but because I felt that was right. Just as I thought the many things we studied and taught about rights of the individuals and the members of a family were also a divinely inspired just system.  

Yet... Some people don't practice what they preach. When it comes to women's rights, they cowardly back off and put the women themselves into the combat zone - and they even blame them for not sitting around and waiting. 

Well, we won't. That's for sure. I'm not miserable because of a failing system. I'm proud of the strength I have found in myself and in my faith - the true faith I have learnt, that's not adulterated by complicated explanations just to be of someone's interests.